Well, one more full day and Dustin is on his way. It is hard to believe that the time has gone by so fast. I keep telling myself that I wish I had just one more week. The reality is that one more week, one more month, or one more year, it wouldn't make it any easier. I have been thrown a few curve balls by all of this. Nothing has quite gone the way I thought it would. I had mentioned in a previous post that I have been sick. The medication that I am on make me more anxious and emotional then I would normally be (or maybe not, I don't know). A few moments today, I had to dismiss myself to the restroom. I am bound and determined to make this as positive an experience as possible for him. The more positive we are, the easier he seems to be about it. Paul and I commented tonight that you can see the transition already taking place in many of his behaviors. He is a young man now, no question. We have tried to prepare Dylan and Shelby for the changes they will see in him when he comes home. Not so sure we can even prepare ourselves, but we are trying. He comes up and gives me a hug saying, "I love you, momma" and all I think is I never want to let go. Then in the next minute, I think...does he want me to let go? But that is selfish, I know. He is doing what he is destined to do. For Dusty, he is living out a dream to become a soldier.
I worry about Dylan and Shelby, as well. They have been quiet and sort of withdrawn from the subject. But I guess that is normal. What do you say when your oldest brother (who you used to argue with non-stop) goes to serve his country? It's got to be so hard. I think we just all think...is this really happening? I won't make this post long. I just wanted to ask all of you to keep Dustin in your prayers for safe travels and a great experience. Tomorrow will be a much needed family day. Hopefully filled with laughter and happiness (outside of mom's occasional coughing spell from all the laughs). Then, I need to get some rest before Monday. Am hoping to have an address and more info. for you by Monday night. Thank you again for everything. Your support, love, and kindness mean more to us then anything. Much love and many blessings. God Bless you all!
Crystal, I dont know if this will help you. When my son Dave class of 1984 left for Michigan State I had no idea he would not be back home to live. He too knew there was a world out there. Before graduating as a mechanical engineer, he had already been recruited by Boeing in Seattle. Of course we were excited he had a job but little did I realize it meant he was going to be gone forever.
ReplyDeleteDave moved all his things home from State and two weeks later the moving van came to move him. He did not want me home that day and then he left and drove to Seattle by himself. He did not even call till he got there and only stopped once. He seemed so brave when he was leaving but really they arent.
Dave is our only son and very special and very successful. He had a purpose and is living life as a great husband (i think) and a great father. He is a great son and he calls once a week at least.
You will cry a lot and I still do and David has been gone since 1989 but we see him and his family at least once a year. No it is not enough but I guess that is God's plan. Be brave and blame it on the prednisone or whatever. That stuff made me ugly.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I know that Dustin is doing what he is meant to do. I knew from day one that he was meant to do great things. We moms are a sensitive bunch, I know. I wish that you could see your son more also. God does have a plan. I know that. We may not always see it, or even agree with it. But in the end, it always seems to work out better then the plan we had for ourselves. Thank you for your kind words again. I pray that you are able to see your son and his family more, and I pray for continued strength for you and your family. We moms have to stick together. Whether they are in the military or working a civilian job, it doesn't change the fact that our children are a part of us. We not only shape them, but they mold who we become as human beings, as well. Much love and God bless.
ReplyDeleteThought of you as soon as I got up this morning. A big hug for all of you today.
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