Mixed Moments

Well, it is Thursday afternoon.  Come Tuesday Dustin will be on his first plane ride to Oklahoma.  Life is filled with many mixed moments, right now.  One minute I look at him and see that little boy that used to rely on mom for everything.  The next moment, I look and see the young man he has become.  So independent and all grown up.  The last couple of days have been so quiet in our home.  Partly because we know the day is coming, and the other part is, I think, no one really knows what to say.  How do you sum up all the feelings and thoughts running through your head.  I am so filled with pride and know great things are ahead for him.  I know that this is what he wants.  If he didn't, he wouldn't be so dedicated to training and getting things in order before he leaves.  When Paul and I see this, it makes it easier.  However, a part of my heart weeps in sadness.  It's a "mom thing", I know.  It isn't any easier for him.  I can read it all over his face and in his behavior.  He has been quiet.  There are even moments I think, this is it.  I see the tears coming.  But he holds them back.  I know he is worried about me.  I have been sick of recent but am getting better.  Hopefully, he realizes that I will be fine.  I don't want anyone (even me) making it any harder for him then it is.  It has to be so hard to want something so much, and know you have to sacrifice everything to get it.  It is the most selfless act.  I could never imagine.  We have to have him at the recruiting station in Mt. Pleasant between 11-1p on the 3rd (Monday).  That is the last we will see of him until 9a on Tuesday morning at the airport in Lansing before he departs.  Then that's it until, at least, the middle of August.  I still am working on getting an address and calling information.  Will pass it on when I get it.  Until then, we will try to spend as much time as possible with him.  Even if it is quiet moments spent watching television.

My plan for occupying my time, while he is gone, is to keep busy.  There are still thank you letters and blogs to write, a new house to move into, two teenagers and a husband to keep up with, and work.  My hope is that all this will help the time fly by.  I have never been the type to sit a wallow in my sorrows.  I am not about to start now.  It is not what he would want me to do.  I have always taught my kids that it is not what you go through, but how you get through it that matters.  There are moments I am a teary-eyed mess.  It's funny.  The tears come unexpectedly and at then worst times.  Dustin teases me about not wanting to cry in public.  There are times it can't be helped, I am learning.  Some of the tears are because I am sad, but mostly they are tears of pride and love.  It's all good.  Those that don't understand will have to deal.  Never been one to hold back how I feel about my kids.  Those that know me well, know that.  So, life will go on.  We will miss him more then words can express, but we know he is coming home.  Even if it is just for a visit.  And when he does, we will throw a party to celebrate another milestone in his life.  I figured it out on the calendar, and if I figured right, he should be home for Beaverton's Homecoming weekend.  How fitting.  He will be here to see his sister for her senior homecoming and his brothers freshman homecoming.  Just praying it works out that way.  We are very proud of our son, but we are also proud of where we come from.  We have experienced so much love and support from this town.  It is truly amazing and has humbled all five of us.  We pray for all of you and hope nothing but the best.  This town deserves it.  So much heart and generosity.  We are truly blessed to have experienced it.  We ask that you pray for our son and all our service members and families.  Having also been raised an "Army brat", I know it isn't easy for any of them.  They all sacrifice and give so much so we can have the life we do.  Much love and many blessings!!