Well, all...I had been taking a much needed break. It would seem that between moving, traveling, getting sick, and work. I just over did it. But with the recent events taking place in todays world, I feel my heart strings being pulled back to it. First of all, you should all know that Dustin is doing very well. He loves AIT, the Army, and the Army way of life. Oklahoma...not so much. But he knows it is temporary. He should have his orders for his first duty station here in a week or two. Then we will have a lot better idea of where he will be for a longer period of time. AIT is so different from BCT. In more ways then one. Yet, in some ways the same. The letter writing has pretty much come to a halt for him. However, we text each other almost every night. Which I almost prefer. That is because it is real time and not about what happened a week ago. Also, we are able to cheer each other up when we are having a bad moment. Still no baked goods can be sent. Health and fitness are an intricate part of their training. Therefore, no sweets. I must admit, it is killing me. I love baking and can't wait to be able to send him stuff. His favorite is homemade cookies (of just about any kind). He did mention that he is going to try and put in for the holidays off when he gets to his first assignment. Not sure if he will get it, but it would be so awesome to have him home. Christmas is my favorite holiday. The kids and Paul often make fun of me because I start planning for it so early. No kidding...if I could keep my tree up year round, I would. Unfortunately, people would think I had lost my mind if I did. We all have our fetish. Christmas is mine.
You know I was starting to actually get used to all of this. At least, I thought I was. Then all of a sudden, Syria happened. Unfortunately, my feelings of contentment were replaced with that of fear, worry, and sadness. One minute everything is fine, the next minute I am sitting in front of CNN praying that the President will not be sending troops, with a box of Kleenex in one hand, and my Bible in the other. It is an awful feeling. I felt nauseous, antsy, and like someone had kicked me in the gut the entire time I was watching it. Then a thought came to me. If I was scared, what must an 18 year old soldier be going through. I quickly texted him to see what he was doing. He told me he was in his room. When I asked him why he wasn't watching the news, his answer made me so proud and so sad at the same time. He said, "Either way, I'll do what I got to do." My son is not a little boy anymore, he is a man. Not just any man. He is an American Soldier, who has devoted his life and well being to this country and the people in it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was one of the proudest yet saddest moments I think I have experienced through all this. Yes, more then graduation and all that. This was the moment it had all come full circle for me. The moment that I realized what all the training, tears, sweat, and nights spent worrying were for. It was also a reminder, that whether or not our troops are sent, they need and deserve our gratitude and support. It is so easy to voice opinions and spout off, when you have no personal connection to it. Do I want my son to go? Heck no!!! I saw what those biochemical did to those poor people. It was awful. Images I can't erase from my mind. I don't want one of those people to be my son. However, I accept that this is what he chose to do with his life. I respect that, and made a promise. I promised that I would support him and be the best darn Army mom I could be. This is what an Army mom does. It kills me deep inside. It truly does. If something does happen to him, it isn't like it was due to a long illness or even a freak accident. It is because someone who hates him (and those like him) intentionally set out to harm him for what he believes in and stands up for. Not a feeling I wish for anyone. I may not agree with the politics. But I love and support my son and those like him. That is what matters. On behalf of Military families everywhere, I ask that you do the same. Their job is to follow out orders. We ask that you support them, even if you don't agree with the politics. They are doing what they have been trained to do. They do it honorably, willingly, and with much pride. Much love and many blessings!!!
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