Truly, this has been a hard day. Not just because of the fact that it was 9-11, but because everywhere I looked there were constant reminders of the terror Dustin vowed to fight against. Added to the fact that I was not able to communicate with him in anyway, and my worry-wart meter was in overdrive. I know that it has been a while since I have posted. To be honest, I have been trying to keep myself busy so I don't think about it. Let me just catch everyone up. Last Friday a soldier in Dustin's platoon threw a rock and hit another soldier in the face. All this was taking place while we were texting each other. From everything I was able to gather, when they asked who did it, no body owned up to it. As punishment, they took the whole battery's phones and electronics. Yes, even those who didn't have anything to do with it. To add salt to the wound, they got their orders on Saturday, so we have no idea where he is going until he writes or calls. Harsh? Yes! But as I have stated in the past, the Army has purpose for everything. The individual or individuals have since come clean, but they still have to earn back their privileges. Now, am I mad? Absolutely. Did I want to drive down there and ring the little hellions neck? So bad I was shaking. But more then anything, I was scared. The young men my son is serving with are also the same men that will someday have his back. Or, at least, that is the general hope. I want to believe that if the time ever comes, someone will be there to fight for his life. I know he would theirs. So, while I don't like the idea that he had his phone taken away because of someone else's stunt, I understand what the Army is trying to teach these young men. It goes way beyond how to drive a Bradley or shoot a gun. It is deeper and more meaningful then that. It is about being a brotherhood. the phrase that comes to mind is "All for one, and one for all." Funny thing is I used to use this phrase when I would talk to the three kids about how important having your brother/sisters back was. Here Dustin is getting a first hand lesson.
I have found much frustration comes from having him in AIT. The amount of information about their activities and stuff is slow and very little. I have decided that this is the Army's way of preparing the soldiers and their families for a lifestyle that is based on knowing what they need to know when it is needed. Not a minute sooner, or a detail more. I have accepted this. Maybe it is because that is how I grew up. Let's be honest, there may come a day that Dustin is called to go somewhere to do his job, and we won't know where he is or when he is coming home. Furthermore, we probably won't hear from him much, if at all. It's not a pleasant thought, but let me tell you something that makes it easier to deal with. This would be the idea that it is what will keep him safe. There was a phrase used at the orientation when Dustin went to AIT. The gentleman stated, "The hunter now becomes the hunted." It was hard to hear, but it was the truth. I prefer that I not hear anything from him, and know that no news is good news, then to receive a dreaded knock at the door or phone call. I know that there are those that will disagree with me. That is fine. We are all entitled to our opinions. Dustin has applied for Air Assault training and B Fist training (doing his job inside a specialized Bradley). It would be naive of me to think that he would never be in dangers way. This is his job. It is what he has been training to do and is proud to do. As his mother, I can only support him. I may not like it, but I do support him. One thing I can honestly say that this has taught me...never pass the opportunity to tell someone you love them. Not ever!!! I don't care if they hurt your feelings or didn't remember your birthday, or whatever. The chance to say "I love you" now, may not come soon or ever again, for that matter. Be grateful for every second you have with them. Because a second now, may not be present again.
As I have stated, I have been trying to keep myself busy. We are pretty much all settled into the new house. We have been here for a month and I have found some improved health has come with it. I am by no means perfect, but I am much better then I have been in the past two or three years. Just have to remember to not overdo it (easier said then done for me). I have decided to start a candle business in order to help pay for care packages for soldiers. If I had to be honest, I would have to say there was more purpose then that behind it. I think that part of it is just a way to keep me busy. I have so much more time on my hands with Dustin gone and the other two being older. I needed something to do. The other thing is just plain being able to be social again. I am feeling healthy enough to finally be in the presence of people other then children, doctors, dogs, and my husband (God love his soul). Not only does it help distract me, but just having adult female conversation again has been so good for my spirit. We, as moms, forget how important and therapeutic it is to get together and have some quality "me time". Dustin would laugh at me so hard, right now. I always gave the boys heck for not being able to sit still well. He would say the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree, and raise his eyebrows at me. He was right. I miss him so much it hurts. We all do. There is not a time of the day he doesn't cross our minds. Sometimes, I will be sitting here and I just get this knot in the pit of my stomach from all the worry. Other times, my heart just aches because I miss him so much. I have shed so many tears, and at the most random times. Shelby and Dylan have expressed that it is a little harder being in school. They get asked questions about Dustin all the time. Shelby's response is, "It's harder to ignore when you have to actually talk about it." When they do have to talk about it, they are so proud. they each have dog tags they wear everyday. They wear them proudly and with so much love. Never let it be said that my children do not love and care for each other. Dustin even went so far as to arrange a shout out to his brother last Thursday night for his first home football game. Dylan was already having such a great game. That just made it even more special. It was a precious meaningful moment shared with a community that has become our family in so many ways. Even from thousands of miles away he is finding ways to keep in touch with his roots. I am so proud of him. He said something to me while he was in Basic that sticks with me. He said, "Mom, I didn't think that many people cared that much." I simply said, "Yup, this town is a lot to be proud of. We are very blessed to call it home." He agreed then, and still does now. Our family appreciates everything you have done. All the encouragement, concern, and love. I will never ever be able to say thank you enough. The thing is, this isn't just our families story. It is the story of every military family out there (with a little variation). So, please include them all in your prayers. We will update everyone as soon as we know where Dustin is going. If it is Hawaii, I am packing my bags too. lol!!! Just sayin'... Much love and many blessings!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment