Got a letter today from our soldier. You know those moments that you hear about. You know the ones. The ones when you realize that all those hours of worry, constant badgering, arguing, and everything else was worth it. The moment all the responsibilities of being a parent payoff. I'm not talking about the moments when they graduate from high school, find the job of their dreams, get married, or anything like that. I'm talking about the moment you realize your child "gets it". Yup, well that moment came to me today in the form of a letter. This was the longest letter he had written, to date. As always, he went on to say he was excited for graduation and that he loved what he was doing. He passed his final PT exam with flying colors. He wrote that he missed everyone so much. It was what came after all that made me a complete mess. Now, let me just say that I know my son has never been a saint. I mean, he is a good kid, but like with every teen, we have had our concerns and battles where certain things come into play. As I read this letter, it became perfectly clear that many of those concerns would be put to rest. He wrote about how much he appreciated everything that mom and dad had done for him. He went on to say that he still had a lot of growing up to do, but that he had become the man and soldier he is today because of everything I had taught him. I don't have to tell you how much that meant to me. This was the first time he had ever said something like that to me. Oh sure, it's always been implied...but never actually put into words. As parents, we look for validation. Not just from our peers, but from our children. Validation that we did everything right. That we didn't "mess up", so to speak. I have to tell you that no validation, from peers, even comes close to that of hearing it from your own child. When I was diagnosed, I worried so much. Worried that my children would suffer. Paul and I did everything in our power to keep them as unaffected by it as possible. If truth be told, a tiny part of me thought maybe Dustin joined the Army to get away from it. Although, he has always wanted to join the Army, I thought maybe he had also seen it as a ticket out. That wasn't the case, at all. He joined for many reasons, but one was because Paul and I have always encouraged the kids to follow their dreams. We also always taught never to take things for granted. Not friends, family, just life in general. He proved in this letter that he is so grateful. He has never been good at expressing his feelings. He has always been a boy of few words. I think many teenage boys are (or full grown men, for that matter). As I read the letter, the tears started falling. In fact, Shelby made the comment to Paul, "She made it two days." Ha! Then when Dylan read it, he stated, "Yup, that made mom cry." That is just a testament to how this past 8-10 weeks as been. But all those tears and worries were validated by my sons, almost 4 page, letter today.
I have learned that the Army doesn't just change the soldier, it changes the entire family, as well. The family bonds become closer and stronger. I have often heard people make the comment, "It's too bad you can't pick your family members." I think to myself, would these people think differently if they didn't have any family? I, along with other Army Moms, have been writing encouraging letters and cards to some of the soldiers in training that have no family to support them. I could not imagine what it would be like to go through something like BCT without the love and support that one needs. Some have wrote back and stated what a blessing it has been to them. What they don't understand, is that it is just as much a blessing for me, as it is them. It has brought me closer to the other Army moms, to the soldiers, and to my son. Money can't buy the type of happiness these precious gifts have brought me. the Lord works in the most peculiar ways sometimes. In the beginning, it was just about Dustin joining the Army and how I was going to deal with it. Has time as gone on, I see that God's plan wasn't just for Dustin to grow, but for this Army Mom to grow, as well. It helped me realize, that no matter the obstacles or disabilities, a person can make difference in someone's life. It has also shown me that, if you open yourself up to it, others can make a difference in your life. I was scared of my pending disability. Now, I accept it and know that it doesn't mean that I can't still live a productive rewarding life. It doesn't define me as a person, and certainly not as a mother.
So, the next two weeks are going to be crazy in the Crowl household. First of all, we got the house we have been waiting on for like four months. We sign papers and , hopefully, get the keys on Friday afternoon. I can't tell you how happy and reassuring it is for me. However, I will be on pins and needles till it is done and those keys are in my hands. It gives us approximately 8 weeks to get everything settled and plan for Dustin to come home on leave. On the 15th of this month, Paul or I will be headed to Oklahoma to see our son graduate from BCT. I was planning on going, but given my body's unfortunate timing, am not sure if I can get the time off to go. So, Paul will go in my place. It is sad, but a reality that can't be avoided. Besides that, Paul deserves to be there just as much as I do. What a proud moment for him to be able and see his son graduate from BCT. There is school starting soon, Football starting, Shelby's Senior pictures to get scheduled, and Dustin's Journey to run. So, we will be anything but bored. I am sure it will be crazy, but we will get through it. You have all been so supportive and given so much of yourselves to our family. Some have even volunteered to sponsor soldiers through Dustin's Journey. I could never tell you what this means to me, to other Army moms and soldiers, and to Dustin. Just when I think this little town could not possibly show anymore love and kindness, you prove me wrong. You are all so wonderful. You see, Dustin and I have seen more then ourselves grow through this process. We have seen our community grow. We have seen you all show, not just us, but soldiers and families thousands of miles away how a small town can make a difference. You have given so much of yourselves, I could never repay it. Paul and I are proud of our son, but we are proud of where we come from, as well. there isn't any love like that of community. Because in the end, they are your family. much love and many blessings!!!
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